The Roadtrip Within

By Esther Choi, Graduate Counseling Intern, UCLA Career Center

It’s actually ironic-my working in the UCLA Career Center. I first started frequenting the Center as a junior at UCLA-scrambling for answers to the vague mystery that was my career path. I dropped by-first once a month-then every other week, determined to find my “dream career” and the path to the “real world.” As an English major, I was familiar with the mantra, “You can do anything with your major.” Yet, as I neared graduation, I felt an increasing need to know exactly what I could do with my major. I began to feel an invisible pressure wall pressing down and surrounding me as I watched friends and peers start internships, cram for LSAT/MCATs, and collect colorful packets of application materials, preparing for their shining future. And me? I sat in the middle of it all, dreading the process, afraid to take the first step.

Finally, frustrated with the ambiguity of not knowing, I decided it was better to start somewhere then continue on nowhere. I dropped by the Career Center with a certain expectation that I would “discover” me. I took assessments and mulled over career possibilities with my counselor. I spent hours in the library, pouring over books and descriptions of jobs that I had never even known existed such as “food stylists”- they’re the folks who make those burgers and fries look so darn good on T.V., and “mystery shoppers”-people who get paid to shop so that they can report back to employers about the quality of customer service they received.

After reading and imagining what each job might be like, I decided to try interning at a small public relations firm. It sounded glamorous and exciting. But for me, it was like trying to fill a container with the wrong liquid-I just couldn’t get into it. Then I thought about teaching so I took a job as an English instructor. I discovered that I LOVED it. Well, the counseling part anyway. I wasn’t too big on classroom discipline and management, but I lived for the kids. Chatting with them between breaks and helping them resolve issues with their friends and parents was the most exciting job I’d ever had. Watching them grow and develop-it was like discovering an entirely new world. And then one day-as I was talking to my career counselor-it hit me. Why not counseling university students? I thought about talking to students, learning about them, helping them. And I knew-just knew-this was IT.

Running with this realization, I enrolled in UCLA’s M.Ed Program in Counseling Student Affairs-a program that prepares students to work in fields related to student development. The program includes an internship component, giving me the opportunity to serve as a graduate counseling intern at the very place I started at-the UCLA Career Center.

Now, as a counseling intern at the Career Center, I frequently see students who remind me of that place I was at a few years ago. Oftentimes, students are lost and confused about the career exploration process. Sometimes, their expectations are different from what we can give them. They have this vision of themselves working in a Fortune 500 company fresh out of college, making it to the top in five years. They want to conquer the world. And they think very linearly because that’s what school has taught them to do. We all know the drill-first grade school, then middle school, then high school, then college. It’s very structured and planned out-a premeditated path. And when students discover that for the first time, they can explore on their own, they become puzzled and confused. Or scared. Many of them don’t want the weight of such an enormous decision on their shoulders. They don’t know that they’re allowed to make mistakes-as with any learning process-because career exploration is a learning process. Yet sometimes, I feel that the weight of everything they’ve learned and known before, hangs on a single choice they feel they need to make right now, at this very moment in their lives. With that sort of pressure, it’s no wonder that students dread the career process. But let me reassure you, that you, UCLA students, truly DO have the world at your feet, and with this confidence in hand, I want to assure you that it’s ok to stray from the regular trodden path because that’s part of becoming an adult, as well as discovering more of who you are. Exploring is about trusting your inner experiences-the instincts you realize when you meet them in some unexpected way. Or, for those of you who know what you want to do, but feel that it isn’t practical/respectable/ lucrative/______ enough, think about how you feel doing what you love. When you really listen to this part of yourself, it’s like you don’t even need to think anymore. It’s so simple and clear and exciting that you can barely wait to start.

And if you don’t know what drives you, what excites you, you can start the search to find out. If you feel overwhelmed by the process-start out slowly in small sure steps- which I know might be challenging for some of you overachievers out there. You can start out by asking people (friends, family, fellow co-workers, peers) if they know someone you can talk to who works in a field that interests you. Or simply start by reading about possible jobs in your major. We have a great library here in the UCLA Career Center with many many books on every kind of job you can imagine. Or you might start taking the first steps toward building a resume. Listing some specific skills and qualities you have that you like and respect about yourself. As the Nike ad says-“Just Do it.” Be active about making this your process-your search because it’s the most exciting search you’ll have. The exploration into yourself-into everything about yourself: Your hopes, your interests, your values, your dreams, your visions-they are all encapsulated in this roadtrip within.